Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Reason


You probably know that I’m a librarian-currently without a library (I have the degree and everything.)  I talk about it all the time.  Talk about programs I held-Have I told you that we made snow globes? It was Awesome! I still get excited just thinking about it.

I think I was always going to be a librarian.  I’ve loved books since I was old enough to read (I used to steal my brother’s Encyclopedia Brown books) and loved to tell anyone who would listen about this great book I’d just read—I still do that.  Now I also push the audios that you can download from your library’s website.

What you may not know is that I’m also an artist.  When my Dad died I decided to go back to school-he was so disappointed that I had dropped out.  I started slow at the local community college-made up some of the credits I failed (getting back financial aid) and went to Berea to finish college.  I jumped in head first into Art.  I found sculpture long ago and really wanted to learn how. In my senior year at Berea I met Derrick; he was in all my art classes (I had a huge crush on him) and my friends kind of absorbed him into our group.  Because of Derrick, I met Edith (she and her husband at the time were sharing a house with D.)  They used to have game nights every now and then.  D would invite people from Berea and Edith would invite people from University of Kentucky’s School of Library and Information Science.  It wasn’t long before Edith recognized me for what I was—a born librarian.  It didn’t take much to lead me into the MLS program.

Long story short I spent some time at an Art library-where I met some people in the art world. Had some shows, sold some art.  Switched to a public library (I missed the variety of topics) and slowed down with the art.  It’s hard to sculpt stone without a studio.  When I was in Cincinnati, I tried to work out of my garage and it worked for a time but there were so many other things I had to do like paint my bedroom and mow the lawn. I got out of the habit of sculpting.  Oh, I still made stuff: crafts, barrettes and knitted stuff; I just wasn't working the hammer and chisel.  Until someone very recently reminded me that I like to sculpt and that some people like my work enough to pay for it.

So today when one of my very kind and generous neighbors took cake of the lawn so I wouldn't have to, I got myself organized and spent some time sculpting on a piece I started over 3 years ago.

You may not have recognized it from my tale above but fate likes to show me things and push me places.  Or to put it another way…Everything happens for a Reason.

I've been struggling to find The Reason for some stuff that happened a couple of years ago.  Is The Reason supposed to be a renewed perspective on life?  Reconnecting with people from home?  Learning to appreciate what I do have?  Picking up my sculpture tools again?  All of those have happened… mostly.

So I've been exploring myself (get your mind out of the gutter) while I look for that library job, watching for The Reason I’m here.  Have I missed the sign?  Then I realized one day that it may not be MY Reason.  Maybe I’m here because someone else needs me to be here.  Maybe it’s not all about me.
I’m also wondering if I will know when I've said or done the thing.  Will I know that I've found The Reason? Or will I have to wait until fate pushes me again?
I hate when fate pushes me-it doesn't usually go well.